7.23.2006

Failure

I checked the prompt word for this week's Sunday Scribblings yesterday, and the word was "Thief!"

Failure

On his two-hour layover in Detroit, a woman with a walker tried to pick Moussaoui’s pocket.

He was standing in line for a coffee, the top button of his dress shirt undone beneath his sport coat when he spotted the woman out of the corner of his eye--her white hair in tight curls against her head. She walked toward him, slowly. "Excuse me," she said. "Sir?"

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I've made some changes to this and intend to make a few more and then send the thing off somewhere, so I'm pulling it. If you'd like to see what's going on with it, drop me an e-mail; you can find the address on my profile.

4 comments:

Jemima said...

What I want to know is why he experienced the desire for the thieving old woman's success?

Hmm. Curious piece. Compelling. And what happens next. There are enough hints about Moussaoui's life, it feels like the piece is full of clues, to make me want to read more. Where could it lead?

brittany said...

i like it.

paris parfait said...

Sounds like there's lots more to that story. But did he feel sorry for the old woman - otherwise why would he be happy for her to steal, especially with all the trouble it would create for him (replacing credit cards, driver's license, etc).

Kim G. said...

What an interesting character you have developed in this story. He does seem like he has so much more to him. Well written story - thanks for sharing it!