1.18.2007

Poetry Thursday--Line

The theme over at Poetry Thursday this week is: Are you using a line on me? It's something of a game, and the gist of it goes like this: Borrow one of the posted lines and use it as a starting point for something new. I took my first line from Jillypoet: All I want for my girl is a bowl of fine soup. I doubt I did the original justice, but nonetheless, here's my little offering.

Fine Soup

All I want for my girl
is a bowl of fine soup.

Or Spaghetti-O's. She loves
Spaghetti-O's. She likes them

straight from the can, heated
over a medium flame, slightly scorched

to the insides of the pan--a fine
crimson film. She loves

Spaghetti-O's and her foot
is broken. She needs me

to serve her, and I would like
for her a bowl of fine soup

but Spaghetti-O's will do.
I'll bring them to her on a tray.

I'll offer her all I have to give,
not a bowl of fine soup, but

Spaghetti-O's. She will take
the bowl from the tray and feel

the heat of it in her hands--
the heat of all I have

to give--a bowl of Spaghetti-O's,
and she will take a spoon
to it, ravenous.

3 comments:

J.C. said...

I can't believe you chose to write a soup-themed poem referencing my Spaghetti-O's habit while I chopped leeks, shallots, garlic and thyme for the "fine soup" I made for dinner.

And yet, I will stand by my beloved Spaghetti-O's in times of need. They take me back to sick days, white bread, doting grandmothers and The Price is Right.

G said...

What a sweet poem. With his "humble" offering, I can see how much the narrator cares for the girl, presumably a girlfriend in this case rather than a daughter. Very nicely done.

twilightspider said...

I like this a lot - I think you have done the line justice here. You've more than just Spaghetti-O's (which I find horrifying, by the way), you have fine words. The last two lines are perfect.