The theme over at Poetry Thursday this week is: Are you using a line on me? It's something of a game, and the gist of it goes like this: Borrow one of the posted lines and use it as a starting point for something new. I took my first line from Jillypoet: All I want for my girl is a bowl of fine soup. I doubt I did the original justice, but nonetheless, here's my little offering.
Fine Soup
All I want for my girl
is a bowl of fine soup.
Or Spaghetti-O's. She loves
Spaghetti-O's. She likes them
straight from the can, heated
over a medium flame, slightly scorched
to the insides of the pan--a fine
crimson film. She loves
Spaghetti-O's and her foot
is broken. She needs me
to serve her, and I would like
for her a bowl of fine soup
but Spaghetti-O's will do.
I'll bring them to her on a tray.
I'll offer her all I have to give,
not a bowl of fine soup, but
Spaghetti-O's. She will take
the bowl from the tray and feel
the heat of it in her hands--
the heat of all I have
to give--a bowl of Spaghetti-O's,
and she will take a spoon
to it, ravenous.
3 comments:
I can't believe you chose to write a soup-themed poem referencing my Spaghetti-O's habit while I chopped leeks, shallots, garlic and thyme for the "fine soup" I made for dinner.
And yet, I will stand by my beloved Spaghetti-O's in times of need. They take me back to sick days, white bread, doting grandmothers and The Price is Right.
What a sweet poem. With his "humble" offering, I can see how much the narrator cares for the girl, presumably a girlfriend in this case rather than a daughter. Very nicely done.
I like this a lot - I think you have done the line justice here. You've more than just Spaghetti-O's (which I find horrifying, by the way), you have fine words. The last two lines are perfect.
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